4am

Yep, it's 4am. I can't sleep. Why, well that is why I am here, maybe once I get it out, I will be able to sleep. It's really nothing too bad, just my protective nature. Yesterday was a great day. We got to sleep in a little and then Daniel took the kids outside and I got a little stamp time. It was also "Bring Your Parent to Gymnastics Day" and Daniel got to go down and do gymnastics with Christopher. They had so much fun and I'll try to upload the video sometime later today. Then we did some Christmas looking and had dinner. They canceled the Rainbows class that Christopher goes to on Wednesdays at church, but I didn't know so when we arrived we just hung out with the teachers while they planned the Christmas party for next week (Side note: Daniel is going to be Santa). Then IT happened. One of the boys in the Rainbows class came in with his uncle to speak w/ Rachel. This boy is 5 and about to advance into the next class, but Christopher has really taken to him. He follows the boy around all the time and does everything that the little boy does. This really annoys the boy b/c he wants to play with the bigger boys (who ironically don't really want him in their group b/c he's younger). So my son that still does not talk much runs up to him and says, "Hi Dalton! Look, Christopher has nice GoGo shirt!" while holding his shirt out for Dalton to see. (Translation-- Hi Dalton! Look at my cool Diego shirt.) Of course Dalton was unimpressed and just looked at Christopher like he was from another planet. So Christopher repeated himself and got the same response. You could just see his little heart just break. I felt so bad for him and tried to make up for it by telling him that Dalton loved his shirt. I don't think he believed me, but I tried. Then Dalton and his uncle left and I could see that Christopher's feelings were really hurt. When Daniel got home from Jiu Jitsu, I pulled him aside and told him to make sure to comment on Christopher's shirt. He did, but Christopher didn't seem to get all excited. I now realize it wasn't about the shirt at all, he just wanted to impress his friend. And that is why I can't sleep and I'm crying my eyes out at the keyboard at 4:18 in the morning. It was so hard to see my baby hurt like that and to know that there is absolutely nothing I can do to protect him from it. And I also know that it won't be the last time his heart is broken and each time his heart breaks, mine will too. Who knew being a parent was so hard?